Letting Go of Fear
I’ve had this article in my hands from Julie Feuerborn for months now. I couldn’t bring myself to post it yet until today. I was struggling with the word “fear” so I replaced it with “frustration” because that is the emotion I associate most with it. Julie talks about the everyday fear. My fear was an everyday occurrence but also encompassed into the “trapped in a small space…kind of fear.” So here is my reason for sharing my experience and this article.
I had a great break through for myself with something that I have been battling my entire life. I didn’t realize it was so engrained in me and encompassed a big part of my existence, all set off by this one trigger. I’ve been so frustrated with a certain aspect of myself that has always made me anxious about. “Why? Why can’t I be THIS way instead of the way I am? Life would be so much easier if I could just be done with this feeling and get over it!” I said to myself again and again. Then, like a light bulb that suddenly came on, the source hit me.
Maybe it’s the change in healthier foods, the cleansing process of my body that triggered it, or it could be the timing of it along side the feeling rushing up with full force again that I finally made the connection. I feel a huge sense of relief to have discovered the root. So for those of you that may be faced with that frustration currently, or have gone through an epiphany before, I hope this article finds you well, and may you be a little more kind to yourself and those around you . – Jessa Freeman
By Julie Feuerborn
Most of my stories of fear are ones I have made up in my own head. Not the big spiders, trapped in a small space or can’t swim fear. I am talking about the everyday “I’m not good enough, I will be judged for wearing this outfit, or I love that short haircut but could never do that” kind of fear. When I start comparing myself to others by what they have, how accomplished they are or what they are capable of doing, fear sets in. With a bit of practice I have found some encouraging ways to move through fear, but not the most comfortable.
When we feel an emotion it has a lifecycle of about 90 seconds. It is because I continue to refuel it or suppress it that it lasts longer. If I can sit with the fear for that 90 seconds and observe it from a distance while paying attention to where the feeling physically manifests in my body, then I have a chance to let it go.
There is a physical discomfort for me when I feel fear. My breath shortens and my stomach tightens. With practice I have learned a great tool that helps. I recognize the discomfort, I then thank my body for letting me know it is alarmed and then I tell myself I am safe, I am okay, or I am enough. The moment it takes to do that, I am halfway through the fear cycle. I am then able to ask myself questions. Questioning your fear and not beating yourself up for having it, helps you move through it more easily.
For example if my fear is “Everyone will judge me if I wear this outfit today.” I ask myself these four questions.
- Is this true?
- How do I know this is true?
- What examples do I have for this to be true?
- Who would I be without this story I am telling myself?
Being able to stop yourself before you compulsively react or distract yourself will allow you more peace of mind and a stronger sense of self. By right sizing my fears and humanizing them, I am able to put them in their proper place and let them go!